Deliciously Naughty

3 years...

November 28, 2006...I finished my NanoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) novel and took a deep breath, realizing I had written more than 50,000 words in one month.  It had been two years since I had done any major writing, and I didn't want to stop and fall into a dry spell like I had in 2004 when I had gotten too busy with my first real teaching job.  I was on medical leave from my job at the time due to back surgery, and I was trying to reconnect sexually with Sexyhusband.  So in the late hours of 11/28/06 I began to work on a blog, and at 1am on 11/29/09 I published my very first entry.  I wrote two other entries that night; one on the then recently appointed head of family planning (who ended up stepping down less than a year later) and one recounting my experiences at a Canadian strip club a few weeks previous.

I had no expectations of what DN would turn into, and I certainly didn't know that I'd be writing this entry three years later.

My first year, I wrote a Best of the Blog Year One entry,

The second year (a bit late) I did the same; Best of the Blog, Year Two

My third year as a sexblogger found me in the very murky territory of being a sex blogger who wasn't having a lot of sex, or spending a lot of energy thinking about sex.  In fact, the LM was still in the hospital on the second anniversary of the blog.  And while I don't want to blame a (now) toddler for my lack of interest in blogging, the truth is that becoming a mom, especially a mom to a "special needs" kid takes a toll (she was deathly ill at a week of age, and there has been a great deal of fallout from that in the last year--the good news is that she's in great shape now, and testing above her age range in everything, but she still needs to be monitored by a team of almost 10 different specialists).  Like most people when I divert a great deal of energy to deal with a crisis in my life, my sex drive pays the price.  I also spent about six months of this past year on Zoloft, which lowered my libido.

However, the year hasn't been all bad, either.  I became the sex and parenting columnist for Carnal Nation. 

Upon reflection, the best things I wrote this year were about being a parent and being sexual.  They were the most honest and most genuine.

The thing I struggle with most these days is what to talk about here.  I'm being paid to talk about sex and parenting at Carnal Nation so I hesitate before writing about it here.  I have stories, but am not generally in a place to write about them when it comes to writing red hot sexual adventures material.  I'm really interested in sex and politics, but I'm not sure how many of you are interested in continuing to read my very predictable views on abortion and gay marriage.  

I've tried setting up a schedule and I planned to do NaNo...I've failed at both.  But I don't want to write about that, because I'm sick and tired of writing apologies and excuses.

For now DN will continue, but expect the blog to evolve and change as I figure out what I want to do here, and how I want to talk about sex and parenting here without shooting myself in the foot with regards to column material over at Carnal Nation.

For now, allow me to present...

Best of the Blog, Year 3 (2008-2009)

December 2008

• Sexuality Post-Birth  I wrote this before the exhaustion and the Zoloft kicked in.  I included it because I love who that girl was...so optimistic.
• Between a Rock and a Handjob  I picked this because of the honesty.  I write about feeling like I was failing at being a mom and a sexual partner.

February/March 2009

I published the first 10 chapters of Haunted Dreams (my novel in progress) on the blog...

• Prologue
• Chapter 1
• Chapter 2
• Chapter 3
• Chapter 4
• Chapter 5
• Chapter 6
• Chapter 7
• Chapter 8
• Chapter 9
• Chapter 10

For what it's worth...is anyone still interested in seeing more of this?  I've thought about scrapping it lately, and if anyone thinks it's worth finishing, please speak up.

March 2009

• Ask DN #1  How do you teach a guy to be good in bed?

April 2009

• Ask DN #2 BDSM for Newbies

May 2009

• Anyone looking for a guy to Marry?  A website on the back of a car gave me something to laugh about for weeks.

July 2009

This was when I stopped trying to keep my identities as a sexual being a parent separate from each other and began talking about sex as a parent.  This is what led to my column and my growing comfort as a parent who's sexual, and who blogs about that sexuality.

• Being a new mom (the immediate aftermath) and a handjob in the hospital 
• A hospitalized child does not make for a sex of overly sexual parentsPPD and sex drive
• PPD and its effect on sex drive
• Sex in front of the baby...not as weird as I thought it would be
• Didn't I used to be kinky?

September 2009

• Reproductive Freedom  I talk about why I chose to volunteer at a women's clinic

October 2009

• Feel the Love  My response to the JP who wouldn't marry an interracial couple as a member of a interracial couple.

November 2009

• Why it sucks to be a poor woman today  Discussing the Stupak amendment in the House's Healthcare bill.

Delta of Venus

About a month ago, I was contacted by the owner of Delta of Venus to see if I wanted to do a links exchange.  I learned that it was a pay site, which I've always been a little wary of.  The owner was a real sweetie, though, and gave me a free month membership so that I could explore everything they have to offer.

Delta of Venus is a site specializing in vintage erotica.  They have movies, art, and literature from the late 1800's through the mid 1900's from all over the world.  They have been favorably reviewed by Jane's List, which is known as the gold standard of erotic website reviewers.  They charge anywhere from 6.95 for a 3 day membership to 69.95 for a full year, with plenty of options in between.

After logging in, the first thing I explored was the vintage movie section.  I was most excited to see the vintage Burlesque films like "The Chinese Joy Dance" which features a lovely young woman and some fans.  The silent films manage to be erotic and amusing.  My favorite was "Nudist Bar" where two lovely ladies walk into a bar, begin making out, and one of them is stripped.  The bartender is shocked, but quickly gets interested when they involve him.  A menage a trois ensues behind the bar.  But my favorite part is after the sex, the image changes to the exterior of the bar, and you see the bartender stand up, look around, take a napkin, smile, and disappear back behind the bar (presumably to clean up his ladyfriends) which for whatever reason amused the hell out of me.  I also really liked "Evelyn," "Amour et Ballerine," and "In the Rain".

What surprised me was that while these movies don't feature anything radically different than today's porn (girl/girl, guy/girl, guy/guy, oral, vaginal, anal, and combinations of all of those), they're more erotic.  There's none of that spitting on someone's cock or pussy to lubricate it, which I find terribly distateful.  Without the talking, the visuals are more erotic.  The women aren't over-surguried-not one fake tit, blonde hair extension, or facelift to be found.  The real men and real women enjoying sex is powerful, and beautiful.

The things to know about the movies is that they do take a long time to load, even with broadband (long time being a few minutes).  You'll need quicktime to run them.  I had hoped for a clip of Gypsy Rose Lee, but as of yet, there isn't one.  However, the owner is constantly adding new clips, so I can hope that one does show up eventually.

I didn't spend as much time with the pictures or literature.  They currently feature the work of nine artists, with multiple works by each artist, 6 full length novels, 4 excerpts of larger works, and some poetry excerpts.  There are also 5 articles, my favorite two being the origins of S&M and the History of Dildoes.

I definitely recommend Delta of Venus.  If you feel like you've seen all the porn cliches, and might be getting tired of what passes as de riguer in porn today, why not clense your palate with the real bodies and erotic moments of some vintage erotica?