Deliciously Naughty

Best of Craigslist #3

Let me impregnate you or your wife - m4mw - 25

Let me plant my seed in you or your wife.  I am smart tall dark and handsome.  Reply to thid ad for more details

A suggested New Years Resolution for our friend here in New Orleans....

Do not claim to be "smart" and then suggest that you can impregnate a man.

PS-A "smart" person also generally knows has to spell the word "this"

Love and Kisses
DN

Best of Craiglist #2

Welcome friends, to the second installment in my new series "The Best of Craigslist"

The following are genuine headlines from ads in the erotic services section of Craigslist.  The italicized bits are my snark.

knight in armorbut after the beauty starts to die

What's armorbut?  You only have armor on your ass so you can fuck me until I die?  Freaky and creepy at the same time...

BRAZILIANS DO IT BEST (GOOD SHIT HERE)

You specialize in scat play?

Tell me what you need, I bet I got it for you

I want a Mercedes, a pony, a midget named Tom, and 5 million dollars.  Do you have that?

mother of 1 looking for good man around 19 for fun

18 year olds need not apply, and keep those decrepit 25 year olds away from me.

I'm having these cleptomanic feelings again

I might be compelled to steal your dictionary when I come over to fuck you...

I have herpes but still want to have fun

At least you're honest?

1, 2, 3.....

4, 5, 6, 7..... 7 stupid ads, mwah hah hah says the count.

Best of Craigslist #1

It's time to start a new feature--the best craigslist erotic services ad titles...

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BBW Lovers Looking for A Sexy Sweet Discrete Treat...Look no further

Discrete as in Discrete Math?

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Love The Party So Do I!!! CUM Party With Me

Wow, you used to watch the Mickey Mouse Club long before Justin and Britney?  Me too!  I totally loved The Party...remember the song "Summer Vacation?"  They totally used it on an episode of Doogie Howser, MD after Doogie and Vinnie get their own apartment with a pool and....

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Ethel and Ruth craving to copulate

The best escort names you could come up with were "Ethel" and "Ruth"?  Are you courting the Hasidic Jew niche of the market?

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CLASS, COOTH, AND JUST THE RIGHT LADY TO MEET

I'm reminded of the scene in "10 Things I Hate About You," where Bianca and her friend are talking and she says "I know you can be overwhelmed, or underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?"

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IM SWEET LIKE LIQUORISH

Like licorice or liquor--ish?  Because I think that might make a difference for me...

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Black Beauty gettin down like never before!!!!

I'm having flashbacks to fourth grade when I read "Black Beauty" and I don't remember that scene.  I also wasn't aware that they made keyboards for horses

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tell me i am pritty

Let's hope you are...for your sake

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TIRED OF THE SAM OLD LUNCH?

I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I am!

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LOCAL OUTCALL 150 ROSES FEDISH ARE FREE

Hmmm...would Alberto Gonzales count as "fedish" because he retired?  What about a governor...they don't work for the federal government, but they're kind of the next tier down...that's sort of fed-ish, right?  Or do you dress up like an FBI agent for free? 

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This could be the start of something fun....