Deliciously Naughty

Marriage Counseling update

Our marriage counselor is in Boston.  We now live in Southeast Asia.  But, thanks to the wonders of Skype, we are still working with him.

I can't recall each session in depth, but I can say that a topic that has come up a lot is how alienated we both feel right now.  It's hard to work on your marriage when one partner is gone 12+ hours a day (that would, obviously, be Sexyhusband).  I've also been struggling with questions of identity, work, and motherhood...in that here where being a housewife doesn't feel like such a choice and our days aren't filled with obligations, I struggle to fill my time.  As he is gone when I wake up, and we have a short window after the LM goes to bed (she's a late to bed, late to rise kind of girl) before we need to sleep...communication is a much bigger challenge.  There have also been various ailments...one of the things that is common but few people talk about when you move to a new country is that it's common to get sick as hell for a few months.  Fun.

On the plus side we have had a consistent date night once a week for the past month or so (since we hired our helper, basically) which is more than we've had in the past year and a half.  Unlike when the grandparents watched the Little Mistress, we don't have to be home at any specific time, which is also a big bonus.

In other words....things are...okay.  Mostly we are having good days, but there are still fights, frustration, and elements to work on.  Which means we'll be skyping our marriage counselor regularly.

What'd I say?

We now live in a fairly conservative SE Asian country.  They don't allow breasts to be shown in movies/tv/real life, and there is no porn, but prostitution is legal and there are tons of sex shops.  At eye level.  To children.  With big window displays of sex toys easily viewable to said children.  I don't get it either.

Sexyhusband and I came to the very sad realization that our floggers had dissapeared somewhere in our last two moves.  So I decided to try a sex shop to see what they had on the shelves.

Once I scraped my jaw off the ground from the prices (triple the American price is low), I managed to find the "kinky" area of the store.  And was massively disappointed.  There were a couple of handcuffs no kinkster would be seen near unless they were part of the scene (ie we're playing at being bad at kink), a few pathetic (and cheesy) blindfolds and that was it. 

Seriously?  The Amazing Store up the street from my old apartment had better kinkster toys and I usually slammed them as being fairly pathetic overall as a sex shop.  10,000 miles later, they're looking pretty good to me.

So I turn to an employee and ask him if this is all they have for BDSM toys.

He had no idea what BDSM is.  So I explained.  At which point his eyes got really big and he got someone else.

Who I also requested kinky products from.  He got another person.

Who didn't understand the term kinky, even though it was on the sign over my head and I kept gesticulating towards it.

He got the manager.

I asked her where I could get high quality floggers.  Deer, elk, etc.  Or even a good paddle.  She shook her head and said "nowhere."

Which is when I got the idea to ask if there were "educational" videos (the usual backdooor...pardon the pun...to porn).  Yes, yes there are educational videos.  But before I cheered, I made a point of asking if there is demonstration of the techniques in these videos.  No, no there isn't.

Foiled again.

I'm pretty sure I heard a collective sigh of relief when I left.  The scary lady who knew more about sex toys than they did had left the building.