Deliciously Naughty

Uncircumsized cock is Un-American?

Oh, you Birthers...always giving me things to laugh about in a world where there are so many serious things to worry about, like the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the economy, whether my daughter will have reproductive rights, whether all people will ever get the right to marry....YOU think I should be worried about Obama's cock. 

Mmmm...Obamacock....

Sorry, got off on a tangent there...literally

Right...Birthers, for those of you blessedly out of the loop on this not-a-news-story (why is CNN always talking about them?)---are people who believe that there is a massive conspiracy, and that Obama was actually born in Kenya, and therefore is not an American, and therefore should not be President, and if we could all just go over to Sarah Palin's house and spy on Russia that the world would be better if aliens just came and abducted him...or something like that. 

Birthers have now decided that what makes a person a true, blue, red-blooded American is not the color of your complexion but how much foreskin you have. Commenters (and circumcised Americans) over at Free Republic struck on a revelation yesterday: if Barack Obama has not been circumcised, then he must not have been born in the United States. Why? Because all of their boys were circumcised.

Hey Birthers...Sexyhusband has something to say to you...

American TV Sucks

As an American, I often forget how much American TV really does suck. 

However, as I sit in my hotel room in Scotland, watching a show called "You have been watching: The 90's A Warning from History" laughing my ass off, I am reminded how much better tv can be.  Of course, the show we're watching is about how bad British TV was in the past...

The thing that struck me, and inspired me to post is that when we tuned in, they were specifically talking about sex on tv.  They featured a game show where some dude dressed like Elvis (Fat Elvis, not hot young Elvis) took off a piece of clothing each round and at the end took off his briefs and swung his cock around.  They also talked about the televised version of Lady Chatterly's Lover and other erotic tv offerings. 

For those not in the US, we have two types of tv...broadcast and cable.  You would be hard pressed to find a naked breast on broadcast tv, much less a cock.  Cable tends to dance up to the edge with some for pay channels (HBO and Cinemax) do some soft core stuff where you'll see female nudity but it's incredibly rare to see male frontal nudity.  So for me, even though I consider myself fairly worldly, it's jaw dropping that something like that is just on a regular television channel.

The rules on language are also much more relaxed here.  In the space of a few minutes I heard "cock" "fuck" and a funny exchange about internet porn.  In the US, you just don't get that.  I recall an episode of "The Daily Show" where John Stewart was holding a dildo and the dildo was blured out because Comedy Central doesn't do swears.  Even some cable channels, like USA, when they rebroadcast shows like "Sex and the City" edit so there isn't as much nudity and pull out the swears.

I think it also strikes me that in the news last week was a discussion of how French women aren't going topless on the beach anymore and are embracing "prudite" (or being prudes).  I have a feeling that the American standard of prudishness and that of French women's aren't even close.  Hell, the state I live in doesn't even allow strippers within 6 feet of the client.

Anyways...I'm very jet lagged and babbly, so I'll just stop writing now.  More updates to come.

Progress and a laugh

Several things have come to light recently that may help explain our recent marital troubles...and none of them have to do with sex, ironically.  My "depression" may actually have been misdiagnosed, and my problems are most likely a combination of poor coping skills (my family is all about repression, being a martyr, or falling to pieces--things I am guilty of), depression, and possibly a mood disorder--something on the milder end of the bipolar spectrum.  Sexyhusband has his own issues, which are his to talk about, but also relate to being misdiagnosed and medication aggravating rather than helping something.

*head desk head desk head desk*

Sometimes I wonder what's worse...not getting help for something, or getting the wrong help?

At any rate, we are about to flit to Europe for 3 weeks, and hopefully I'll have better posting stamina away from my day to day grind.

And now for the laugh...

You know you're kinky parents when...

---Your infant daughter has a habit of spreading her legs wide....and you refer to it as practicing her stripper moves...and further joke about stripping through college to pay the bills

---You refer to the aforementioned daughter's playroom as her "playspace"

---She sucks on a toy and you find it mildly disturbing (as some of these toys are fairly phallic, have you noticed?)

And for a further laugh...

When she whines to be put down, and you do so, but then look down just in time to see her pick up your vibrator, which you'd forgotten you'd discarded on the floor next to your bed after you came last night.  You grab it and automatically say "No!  Yucky!" and then cringe and worry if you've sent a sex-negative message.

The light at the end of the tunnel

Thank you for the public and private support with the recent muddy ground of my marriage.

Things are getting better. 

The truth is that we were both to blame...me for not bringing up certain issues sooner, him in part for not recognizing how his meds were affecting him and thinking that placing work before family was somehow beneficial to our family.

There are now concrete plans in place for time together, a couples counselor when our insane summer travel schedule is over mid September, and some time away from the baby for me.  Did you know health clubs will watch your kid for a pittance while you get exercise?  I have to say if I lose weight in the next year it will be largely motivated by "I need a break from you, LM!"  Because an hour on the bike or doing some class or whatever instead of playing peekaboo for the 8,028,493 time that hour sounds awesome.

We are choosing to (in Sapphire's words) fight for our marriage.  Because it is worth it.  Even when I want to smack him with a frying pan...and not in the fun way.