Eleanor (undeadgoat) asked
TNG-I Mission Statement
Increase communication, information, education and support network for all members of the TNG Leather/BDSM/Fetish community.
Support individual and organized education amongst the younger Leather/BDSM/Fetish community/ (ages 18-35).
Provide through publications, online correspondence, educational
material and conferences, a forum for the sharing of knowledge,
viewpoints and practices of access to a diverse network of friends and
education.
There's an interesting list (with links!) at this Wikipedia page on BDSM organizations--as a bonus, there are some groups in countries other than the US as well.
If you live in New England, you should be familiar with ....
Don't forget Fetlife....I'm not on there (which is pretty ridiculous I know, but I have 4 email addresses, 3 blogs and facebook...I just can't handle checking one more thing). I'm not sure how useful it would be for these purposes, but it might be a good place to find some local organizations.
So what is the value in joining a group like this? Well, many (most) hold classes...which is a HUGE deal for a newbie. There's usually a relatively small joining fee (one organization we belong to was in the ballpark of $30) and a fee for the classes ($10 for a 2 hour class...pretty reasonable and no more expensive than a movie) Having someone who knows what they're doing teaching you how to flog, to cane, to tie a safe knot or do pretty rope work is invaluable. Don't worry about being "outed"--everyone uses "scene names" (aliases). Everyone is also very sensitive to the risks of being outed and are respectful. If you ever find someone who isn't...run in the opposite direction.
Kinky Events
Another way to learn more is to attend a "lifestyle convention." Again, I'm most familiar with what's in my area, but I can personally recommend...
Dark Odyssey which hosts two events a year...one at a hotel and one that's more like camping (I don't do that whole "roughing it" thing, so I can only talk about the annual hotel event). I went back to link to my entries about DO '08, only to realize that in the throes of early pregnancy I never got around to writing about it. A quick version is that Sexyhusband and I attended at least 10 classes (they offer significantly more covering almost every kink at almost every level and definitely do address the needs of newbies), got to watch others play in the play space, and bought nifty stuff from the vendors. I was 6 weeks pregnant, however, and wasn't really in a comfortable mental space to do a lot more than take notes and observe. They are based out of DC/Maryland
and
Floating World, which is a NJ event. I actually did chronicle my experiences at FW, and you can read about it starting here.
and
Fetish Flea Market which has bounced between Boston and Providence over the past few years. It's one of the biggest selections of vendors and they also have classes
Where you are into rope bondage, you may be interested in Shibaricon, which is a con specifically about rope bondage, held in Chicago annually.
These are not the only lifestyle events out there....
The bonuses are that there are a wide variety of classes geared towards every skill level and every interest. If you remain open minded, you may even discover a new kink. The downside is that they aren't cheap. There's travel costs and hotel costs. But many of these events do have some sort of community that you gain access to when you pay your entry fee and you can find a rideshare or roomshare if you are comfortable with that idea.
Pro Dommes
This may sound crazy, but why not find a Pro Domme in your are and hire her to teach you and your partner some skills? Sexyhusband and I have strongly considered and will probably get around to doing this once things calm down with the LM. You find someone who is skilled in that which you are interested in learning and have her walk the two of you through the skills.
Pro Dommes are not escorts, and will not have sexual intercourse with you (at least in the US, where that's not legal). But they know their stuff and if you are up front that you are looking for an educational experience, they should be able to tell you if that's within their skill set or possibly recommend someone else who can teach you what you're looking for.
Again, the downside to this is money.
Books and DVD's
There is a HUGE market of kinky books and dvd's, including the How-To variety. In fact, the selection is so big that I'm sure I've only come into contact with a small portion. However, I can recommend the following...
- Anything written by Tristan Taormino. She has some non-fiction and some fiction.
- The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book
- If you want to learn more on rope bondage look for books on Shibari
- Anything written by Jay Wiseman
Also, don't underestimate the value of watching BDSM porn together and talking about what turned you on, intrigued you, or turned you off. We all have limits and things that excite us but that we'd never actually do in real life and it's important to have an open and honest talk with our partners about what those things are.
Along with that, erotica is another good place to start. Rachel Kramer Bussel has some fantastic anthologies, and they (or other erotica) may also be a good jumping off point for discussions
Online
As always, the internet is a great resource, whether you're looking for people to talk to, videos to watch on a topic, or groups to join. Depending on what you're interested in, there's NO shortage of groups to join. Just google, search through yahoo groups, etc and join up. I strongly encourage you to create an online persona for the purpose of doing so, to keep your irl and kinky lives separate.
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