The Full Body Project, or Fat Can be Sexy, Part 2

By now, I hope at least some of you have heard about The Full Body Project, a photography exhibit by Leonard Nimoy, which featured nude women.  Currently on exhibit at the R. Michelson Gallery in Northampton, Massachusetts through January, the photographs feature nude women in poses that mimic famous pieces of art and photography.  It's stirred up controversy as most portraits of nude women don't.

Why?

Because they're fat.

Apparently Fat Naked Women are so revolutionary, so rare, so shocking that we rate media coverage, and not just because it's Mr. Spock doing the photography.

The New York Times covered FBP back in May when the pictures first started circulating, and NPR did 2 interviews with him last week (sorry, both are only available as an audio files) to coincide with exhibit and release of the book connected with FBP.

I had heard about this exhibit a while ago and filed it away at the back of my mind as something to check out when I had time.  But as I was driving home last week, I heard an NPR interview (the second link above) with Leonard Nimoy about it, and in hearing about it again, decided to check it out.

Sexyhusband and I drove out to Northampton yesterday, and found the gallery with ease.  It's right in the middle of downtown Northampton, housed in a former bank.  The exhibit is on the second floor, and as it was a quiet Sunday afternoon, we had the two room exhibit to ourselves for most of the time.

From the first photo on, what struck me was the ease and joy these women felt in their own bodies.  With the exception of one photo, they are totally nude in all of the shots.  In my favorite, their eyes look out defiantly at you, daring you to ignore them.  In others they flirt with the camera, and in still others they allow you to see into the part of them that has been hurt by the kind of society that wants to make them shut up and put some clothes on.

Tears welled in my eyes at least once, and I was filled with happiness, awe, and sorrow.  Happiness that here were women of size, some easily outweighing me by at least 50 pounds, nude, happy, sexual, and visible.  I was awed by the strength of personality and life that Mr. Nimoy showed in these images.  And I was so filled with sorrow that these women were newsworthy; that a fat woman who embraces her sexuality is such a rare commodity in our culture that she is a newsworthy oddity.

One picture that has stuck with me is of a nude skinny African American woman and her plus sized shadow.  It's a visual inversion of the mantra that "inside every fat girl is a skinny girl just waiting to get out."  This shot reminded me that the percentage of American women NOT on a diet at any given moment is microscopic, and perhaps that this picture is truer than the mantra.  Perhaps inside every desperate, paranoid, eats nothing she likes to stay a size 4 or 6 or 8 or 12 woman is a plus sized girl who'd be much happier.

For Sexyhusband, it was equally moving in a different way.  Having married a plus sized woman, he has witnessed first hand the ups and downs of my own comfort with my sexuality and nudity.  There are days when my confidence is high, and I can work an outfit or nothing at all like nobody's business.  And then there are days when I feel heavy, ungainly, unattractive, and everything in my closet only seems to emphasize those negatives.  I hope he'll chime in on comments, because he had a lot to say about sex, women of all sizes, and society.

We purchased the hardcover book from the gallery, signed, which was exciting.  Unfortunately we had missed Mr. Nimoy by only a day, but prior commitments (and the remnants of a hurricane) made the drive to Northampton an impossibility on Saturday.

The woman who inspired FBP was named Heather MacAllister, who unfortunately passed away from ovarian cancer this past February.  She started The Fat Bottomed Revue in San Francisco, and all the models are or were performers in this burlesque troupe.  In the words of a friend, she "literally saved so many of their lives. She helped people who were suicidal and felt worthless and showed them for the first time that they could be powerful and sexy, even if they were fat." 

Heather also notably once said "Any time a fat person gets on a stage to perform and is not the butt of a joke — that’s a political statement."

I only wish I'd had the chance to meet her.  She sounds like an amazing woman, and I now count her as one my sheroes.

As a side note....If you want a chance to catch some of these ladies in action and are near NYC, at least one of these ladies is in Margaret Cho's show called Sensuous Woman, now playing through 11/17.

Which leads me back to the blog post, Fat Can Be Sexy, which, hands down, has gotten the most responses of any post I've written.

I wish I could show these images to every woman who's ever hated her body.  Who has ever been stung by the words "overweight" "obese" or "morbidly obese" by a doctor.  Who has seen a cute outfit and then felt her heart sink when she realized it just doesn't come in her size.  Who has thought she'd never have sex because no one would want her.  Who has used sex to make someone want her because she can't believe anyone would want her on her own merits, so she's easy as a way to validate herself.  Who has ever thought that she'd reel the guy in with her wit, since her body was of no help.  Who has felt invisible as she watches television or movies because there are few fat women out there, and the few women you do see are usually the sexless best friend, the butt of a joke, or without romantic entanglements.  Who has despaired.

If you look, and I mean really look at these women, you don't just see their size.  You see their sexuality.  Which just proves that sexiness starts in the mind, and then moves into the body.  These women's curves are erotic, and I want to touch them, make love to at least two of them, and learn their secrets.  These are erotic high priestesses who have learned the secrets of sexuality, and know it has nothing to do with the numbers on the scale.

In short, these are fat sexy women, and they prove better than I ever could using words, that fat women can be sexy.

What is frustrating is that as I read/listen to the coverage of this exhibit, the writers seem to miss the point.  In the NPR interview I listened to (the Here and Now one), the woman interviewing Mr Nimoy makes the comment that she showed the pictures to a doctor friend of his, who said 'I don't see beauty, I only see morbidity.' (A doctor friend of mine, when I recounted that comment said "I really hate doctors like that who only see a diagnosis and not the person in front of them")  At the end of the NYT article, they make a point of noting that Mr Nimoy finds the fat women beautiful, but isn't sexually attracted to them (why? because he'd be a deviant for that?). 

The bloggers who have commented on the exhibit are far more erudite and interesting than the official articles.  Susan Stinson shared my annoyance at the totally pointless comment at the end of the Times article.  Fat Feminism shows several pictures from the exhibit and comments on her own emotional response to seeing these pictures.  Rizzo wonders if one of the reasons plus sized women are so insecure about their bodies is because men who fancy their body type have been mocked and are afraid to be forthright about it.  All excellent points, by people who "get" the exhibit.

In closing, although the chances that he would ever read this are microscopic, I'd like to address Mr. Nimoy directly.

Mr. Nimoy,

Thank you.

As a woman who has struggled with her weight and her perception of her own sexuality from adolescence onwards, the war to see myself as a sexual creature has been ongoing for over 15 years.  In one exhibit, you both validated that war, and you showed me why I fight for my sexuality.

Seeing The Full Body Project was a life changing moment for me, and I am grateful that you looked at these women and saw beauty.

Thank you,

DN

If you haven't clicked the links  yet, PLEASE go to the full body project site, look at the pictures, and come back to talk about how sexy these fat women are.

Comments

[Marvin]

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this project. I plan on driving up to Northampton to check it out. I wish we could have caught it together. Which makes me think - it would be fun to meet you and SexyHusband one of these days while I'm still relatively close by ...

[Musns]

I love these photos. It's like looking into a mirror and seeing the beauty and sensuality I feel, portrayed outwards.

I don't feel envious of them but rather a comradery - seeing other large women who (at least in the photos) are sensual, wise, fun and have hints of sorrow. I adore the photo of the women dressed for the burlesque and then nude in similar poses.

DN - you are wonderful with words and I hope I can be as eloquent in posting some day. In the meantime you've summed it up better than I'll ever be able to.

xo

[Rae]

You can always manage to get to the heart of me with your writing. I've felt all those things that you expressed about the insecurity, the self-hatred that goes along with being overweight. Luckily I have a great doctor who doesn't judge before finding out exactly how "unhealthy" I am (and I'm actually healthier than my mom who is half my size and runs every morning). Unfortunately, my uncle is a doctor and would have probably had the same reaction as the interviewer's doctor.

It's just hard to be happy when everyone and thing else in the world tells you that you shouldn't be because of something that isn't always yours to control.

Thanks for you post...I always feel like I have a kindred spirit when I read your blog.

[Curvaceous Dee]

The FBP is amazing, isn't it? Discovering the photos Nimoy had taken is what started my discovery of fat activism (a few years back now), and led to me following and discussing the societal effects of media representation of 'fat'. Glad to see I'm not the only one it's made a difference for.

xx Dee

[Rizzo]

Thank you for visiting my site. I reciprocate your views on plus-sized woman. I myself have married a size 20/22 woman and absolutely love it. Beauty is who you make yourself out to be, too bad many men miss out on this.

[poetryman69]

Consecrating a Holy vessel for my eternal consciousness.
A new body and a new mind.

Be thankful. Blessings unto you and yours.