Name Change Misogyny

Bitch PhD had a post up about this couple who got married.  The reason it's blog-worthy is that the husband, Mike Buday, wants to take his wife Diana Bijon's last name.  LA County would like to charge him over $300 for the privilege, as well as require him to advertise his intent in a paper for four weeks, and appear before a judge in addition to the $70 marriage license application fee.

For those of you who aren't married or have never been married, allow me to explain how this process works for women.  Sexyhusband and I went to city hall, paid our $25 application fee and filled out the paperwork.  There was a section that asked me (the bride) what my last name was going to be after the marriage.  I had debated the issue at length, and finally decided to be Mrs. Hislastname.  So I filled in Hislastname where it said "last name after marriage."  We got married.  We went on our honeymoon.  A few days after we got back, we got an "official" copy of our marriage license.  I trotted down to the Social Security office, where they gave me a free name change.  As of that moment, in the government's eyes I was Mrs. Hislastname.  No $300+ fees, no newspaper advertising, no judge.  Just a wedding and a free name change.

Because I'm a woman.

Mr. Bujon isn't a woman, so he has to follow all sort of nonsensical procedures.  So he's suing, with the help of the Southern California ACLU.  His point is that it's ridiculous that men don't have equal rights to change their last name in a pain-free way after marriage.  He's not trying to take away women's right to do this, merely to extend that right to men as well.

For his efforts, Mr. Bujon has been told that he's emasculating himself.  "Men don't change their last names," he's been told in addition to being laughed at. 

It makes me truly wonder how far (or not) we've come when a man is mocked for wanting to create a combined identity with his spouse that isn't Mr and Mrs Hislastname.  Historically, it was important that women become part of the man's family (and, until very recently, his actual property) because their children would inherit his lands and such.  Women were the vessel to bring forth more sons, to solidify allegiances between families, and to combine property.

In this "modern" era, none of this is true.  Therefore, one might argue that the families that choose hypenated last names or new last names altogether are the most egalitarian, as women taking a man's last name is a holdover from "less enlightened" times.  From my own experience, when people talk to a couple getting married, they're always interested in what the woman is going to do regarding her last name.  No one talks about what the guy should do because of course he'll keep his name. 

If our goal (and it should be) is to create an equal society, men should have the same options at the time of marriage as women.  Any man who's open to changing his last name at the time of marriage should be applauded, not ridiculed.

Comments

[Wendy]

That really isn't fair. I looked into changing my last name (I want to remove the "cock" form it), and in Ontario it's $135.00. I haven't done it yet, I'm getting married in September and I think it's included in your licensing fee if you get married (now a $110), so I'll just wait til then.

I'm not sure if men have to pay more in Canada, (that sucks about the US boy), for a name change, that would be worth finding out.

Anyways, its time that laws apply equally for men as well.